Steps for Training Our Sons (Free Printable)

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Quite a few years ago I ran across this list online for steps for training our sons.  It is just excellent and I wanted to share it with you.  I don’t know where I got it from, so if anyone does let me know, so I can give proper credit.  There are also great resources you can purchase online for training your sons.  Contenders for the Faith is an excellent resource.

If you would like this list in nice printable form, you can grab the printable for free at the end of this post!



Knows how to study the Bible

*      Recognizes the importance of studying the Bible

*      Knows and uses Bible study techniques

*      Keeps a Bible notebook

*      Makes significant insights and applications

*      Knows how to use study tools such as

o            Dictionary

o            Bible dictionary

o            Concordance

o            Cross-references

o            Maps

o            Topical Bibles

o            Translations

o            Devotional guides and workbooks

*      Has a balance between using study guides and digging for himself

*      Is confident about participating when the family studies together

Experiences a consistent quiet time with the Lord

*      Recognizes the importance of a time with the Lord

*      Has seen his parents spend time with the Lord

*      Keeps a quiet-time notebook

*      Has a regular time and place to meet with the Lord

*      Is showing creativity and growth in his time with the Lord

*      Is developing his own motivation and conviction for his quiet time

*      Is willing to share his insights with others

Has a general working knowledge of Scripture

*      Knows the books of the Bible and their order

*      Knows the chronological order of the books and the major divisions of Scripture

*      Knows the authorship and historical background of the books

*      Knows the general themes of Scripture and how they are developed

Is developing as a person of faith

*      Knows how to seek the Lord

*      Uses Scripture to confirm and build his faith

*      Has memorized passages which build his faith

*      Trusts God in his personal life

*      Knows what it means and is able to “give thanks in all things”

*      Has memorized James 1:2-8

Has a strong concept of who God is

*      Knows the attributes of God

*      Has memorized passages which build his image of God

*      Has read Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer

*      Has a feel for who God is and how He relates to individuals

*      Can see God reflected through nature

*      Recognizes the character of God in his own life

Has a strong understanding of who he is in Christ

*      Has a strong understanding of God’s unconditional acceptance

*      Understands what God has done for him

*      Understands the sin nature of man

*      Has received Christ as his personal Savior

*      Recognizes his need for relationships within the body of Christ

*      Has read His Image My Image

Is consistently growing in the ministry of the Holy Spirit

*      Understands who the Holy Spirit is and how He ministers through a life

*      Walks in the Spirit, giving the control of his life over to Him

*      Understands grace and the forgiveness of sins

*      Knows how to share his faith in the power of the Holy Spirit, leaving the results to God

*      Exhibits the fruits of the Spirit

*      Is open to the leading of the Holy Spirit for direction in his life.

Is a person of prayer

*      Understands what prayer is

*      Feels free to express himself in his prayer life

*      Consistently and spontaneously communicates with God

*      Is confident praying with others

*      Uses a prayer notebook

Suggested passages for memorization:

1.      Salvation: John 1:12  Romans 5:8 John 3:16  Romans 6:23 John 10:10  Ephesians 2:8-9 John 14:6  Hebrews 13:5 Romans 3:23  Revelation 3:20

2.      Holy Spirit: Matthew 5:6  Galatians 5:22-23 John 14:16-17  Ephesians 5:18 John 15:5  2 Peter 1:9 Acts 1:8  1 John 1:9 I Cor. 2:14-15  1 John 5:14-15 I Cor. 3:1-32

3.      Others: Hebrews 12:1-3 I Corinthians 13:4-10 James 1:2-6  Philippians 1:27-29 Philippians 1:27-29 Colossians 1:28-29 Philippians 4:6-7 Matthew 28:19-21 Psalm 23  Isaiah 40:28-31 Isaiah 41:8-12  Joshua 1:7-8 Psalm 37:1-8  Psalm 37:23-24


Accepts himself physically as a gift from God

* Understands his body is the temple of the Lord

* Recognizes and accepts imperfections as opportunities for ministry to others

* Has a strong sense of who he is as a man and his role

Understands and practices personal hygiene

* Brushes teeth 3Xper day; flosses 1X per day

* Showers/bathes daily and after physical workouts/work

* Wears clean clothes and shoes

* Keeps fingernails and toenails clean and trimmed

* Keeps hair neatly combed and trimmed, and clean

* Knows how to wash clothes

* Changes and washes sheets and towels once per week

Maintains proper weight for his age

* Knows what is normal for his weight at his height and age

* Charts weight monthly to detect increases or decreases in weight

Keeps a regular physical fitness program

* Works out strenuously and aerobically at least 4 times per week, a minimum of 45 min.

* Has strength training at least 2 times per week, a minimum of 15 min. per time

* Can complete 100 pushups without stopping

* Can complete 100 situps without stopping

* Can complete 10 pullups without stopping

Maintains a good diet

* Knows the food pyramid and how many servings are needed from each group

* Selects healthy snacks consistently

* Ingests sugar in moderation

* Can plan a day’s menu of meals that are nutritionally balanced

* Can cook at least 3 full-course, healthy meals

* Drinks at least 8 glasses of water per day

Has at least one sport to develop in

* Participates in team sports at least recreationally

* Understands the rules of major team games (football, basketball, baseball, soccer)

* Has an individual sport and strives for excellence in it

* Exhibits sportsmanlike conduct during meets and games

Has regular medical check-ups

* Physical examination once a year

* Dental checkups once a year

* Eye exam every two years

* Feels free to see a doctor when the occasion arises

Maintains a good appearance

* Understands the importance of a good appearance

* Feels free to get advice from “experts” in areas of need

* Is aware of fashions

* Dresses appropriately

* Understands appropriateness of attire and occasions/places

Has a biblical perspective of sex

* Understands the biblical perspective of sex

* Has read Preparing for Adolescence and discussed it with parents

* Is developing his own convictions about sex

* Feels free to talk with parents and other respected individuals about sex

* Recognizes the results of sexual sin

* Realizes the emotional pull being in love has on convictions

* Has made a list of reasons why he personally wants to wait until after marriage for sex


Has a working knowledge of basic academic skills

* Is proficient in reading, writing, and arithmetic

* Has positive feelings about learning and his schoolwork

Has read twenty world classics

* Has chosen books from a Classics list

* Is reading approximately four books per year

Has general grasp of world history and current events

* Understands the importance of history on current events

* Understands the basic issues and activities of current events

* Knows the names of local and national government officials

Knows how to find needed information

* Knows how to use a library card catalog/online catalog

* Knows where different types of books are found

* Knows how to use reference materials such as dictionaries, encyclopedia, thesaurus

* Knows what other resources (Web, films, recordings) are available at the library

Knows how machines work

* Has taken drivers education through school

* Takes driving seriously

* Knows how to do simple maintenance on the family car

* Is financially responsible for gas, insurance, and other auto expenses

Has a practical knowledge of general skills

* Has basic household skills of

o cooking and meal preparation

o menu selection and shopping

o washing and ironing clothes

o cleaning

o stain removal

o sewing

o room arrangements and interior decorating

o taking care of lawn and garden

* Knows how to do simple household jobs such as

o unclog a drain

o unplug a toilet

o replace a fuse

o glue broken parts

o hang pictures and curtains

o carpentry repairs

o electrical repairs

* Organizes and cares for his tools

Is developing creatively

* Has some creative outlet

* Realizes creativity and artistic ability are not the same

Knows intellectually the whys of his belief

* Has read Know Why You Believe

* Is secure in the intellectual foundation of his faith

* Is able to defend his faith

Is teachable

* Knows and uses the principles of management

* Knows how to plan and uses his time effectively

* Recognizes the need for relaxation

* Has a personal filing system

* Is usually on time

Has a sense of personal ethics

* Has read In His Steps and discussed the principle of “being like Jesus”

* Has developed personal convictions on what he would/would not do in situations and has demonstrated these convictions through role-playing

* Is able to hold on to his convictions under pressure

* Is careful about judging others whose stand differs from his


Understands the biblical motivation for relationships

* Understands his responsibility to represent Christ to others

* Is secure in his relationship with Christ

* Is secure in his relationship within the family

* Has good peer relationships

* Is developing relationships outside of peer group

Has taken responsibility, as a part of society, for its actions

* Participates in group activities

* Is able to confront a group when he feels his integrity is being violated

* Does not avoid taking responsibility for his part of group activities (good and bad)

* Has an interest in political issues

* Feels his responsibility as a citizen of his country

* Shows personal responsibility for his actions when adults are not around

Is confident in the role of host or guest

* Has an understanding of the goal of entertaining

* Is sensitive to the needs of others

* Thinks creatively how to best meet those needs

* Recognizes his own needs and how to meet them

* Follows through on entertaining

* Knows how to have a formal event

* Knows how to entertain casually

* is comfortable as a guest

* Knows how to receive or reject an invitation

* Is faithful in communicating appreciation after an event

Knows common etiquette and courtesies

* Opens doors consistently for women

* Lets women ahead in line consistently

* Stands and shakes hands when visitors enter a room

* Consistently uses good table manners

* Consistently uses a napkin properly

* Has good message-taking skills

* Understands the reasons behind being courteous

Is confident in making introductions

* Knows how to make proper introductions

* Is confident in using the phone

* Knows how to handle nuisance calls

Is able to relate to various age groups

* Is confident is relating to adults

* Is confident relating to elderly people

* Is confident relating to children

* Is confident relating to individuals from differing cultural backgrounds


Has a sense of significance as a person

* Is growing in his ability to identify his feelings

* is able to “own” his emotions and take responsibility for them

* Knows of God’s acceptance for him

* Is secure in his parents’ acceptance

* Receives the advice of others, processes it in light of his integrity and scripture, and draws his own conclusion from it

* Has a feel for the emotional aspects of God

* Understands the difficulty in accepting emotions (i.e., sin, fear of rejection, societal norms, fear of consequences) and how to process emotions

* has a sense of personal integrity

Has a sense of belonging

* Has a sense of family identity

* Accepts love from his family and is affectionate

* Has a sense of being part of the family of God

* Enjoys family traditions

Is accepting of others

* Is open to people from other countries and cultures

* Works to receive people he would not naturally gravitate toward

* Can identify with the feelings of others and understand emotionally their point of view

* Respects others even if he does not agree with them

* Is flexible in dealing with others

Is able to make decisions

* Understands the emotional difficulty in making decisions

* Understands and uses the sound-mind principle

* Understands the ministry of the Holy Spirit in decision-making

* Is aware of the aftershocks of decisions

* Is secure enough to make decisions outside of conformity

Understands, makes, and carries through on commitments

* Is willing to make commitments

* Take commitments seriously

* Is faithful to his commitments

* Knows how to back out of commitment if it becomes necessary

* Is not afraid to make commitments in relationships

Is able to have fun and enjoy life

* Understands the emotional, physical, and spiritual benefits of fun and relaxation

* Seems to be free to laugh and cut up when it is appropriate

* Gives himself space in his schedule for fun

* Can put aside his natural desire for fun when the circumstances demand it (i.e., proper decorum in church or at meals, attention to schoolwork)

Is able to communicate his feelings to others

* Seems confident in communicating with others

* Feels as if he has something to offer

* Understands the two levels of communication

* Is growing in his ability to read between the lines and identify the emotional level of conversations

* Is confident in communicating on the emotional level

Is able to give emotionally to others

* Has confidence in and understanding of who he is and what the Lord has done within his life

* Recognizes the needs of others and desires to meet them

* Is growing in the wisdom of how to meet the needs of others

* Does not entangle himself in unhealthy relationships

Is able to handle emotionally difficult situations

* Is able to identify his feelings and separate them from the feelings of others

* Is able to process his feelings to see if they are related to other things (i.e., feelings hes had before, fears of the future, jealousy)

* Is able to objectify his feelings and view them in light of scripture and other accurate information

* Is responsible for actions prompted by his emotions

* Comes to the point of peace within himself and with God


Has a biblical perspective of finances

* Understands that everything comes from God

* Has a spirit of thankfulness for what he has

* Is familiar with biblical principles of finances

* Is aware of the control of materialism and envy

* Knows and practices the principle of tithing

* Has Read “Rich Kid Smart Kid” by Robert Kiyosaki

Being Employed: A Man’s World Away from Home

* How to look for and apply for a job

* Understanding payroll withholdings

* The alternatives to being employed by another

Has a giving heart

* Gives cheerfully, sacrificially, and consistently

* Is sensitive to the Holy Spirit in his giving

* Takes part in at least one worthwhile, selfless, giving project each year

Knows how to work

* Is a contented laborer

* Is faithful in his jobs

* Has pride in his work

* Works to earn money from others

* is confident in communicating with his boss

Understands how to manage finances

* Knows how to make wise financial decisions

* Uses a simple budget

* Understands the family budget

Knows how to invest money

* Understands the principles behind investing

* Has a basic understanding of various kinds of investments and how to use them

* Makes wise investments which pay off in good returns

Knows how to save money

* Is able to save money

* Saves for special purchases

* Has saved two thousand dollars toward college or a career

* Is aware of scholarships available and how to apply for them

Knows practical how-to’s of banking

* Has and keeps his own checking account

* Uses a savings account

* Knows how to take out a loan and establish credit

* Knows the benefits and dangers of credit cards

* Knows how to read bank statements

* Is confident dealing with financial institutions

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