When You Feel Like a Failure
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We all know the feelings. The nagging doubts and fears that can overwhelm. The constant comparing that leaves us exhausted. We feel like a failure.
Today I want to look at how to deal with these feelings of failure in a way that brings order and purpose to our lives and joy and peace to our hearts! A reader recently emailed me with the following…
Can I just ask you how you actually do it all? You and a few other bloggers I follow just seem to be able to accomplish so much. I am so impressed…& discouraged. I don’t seem to be able to even do the basics, much less all the other stuff I’d like to.
I’m sure I struggle with being a time waster. I’m probably not so great at multitasking either. I love the idea of systems and lists and organization, but I can’t seem to maintain or sustain it over time, not to mention all the different things that come up to throw your schedule or system off track.
What’s a mom to do?
Any help, suggestions, anything might be helpful. I have struggled with this for years, and now I’m at the point of total discouragement in this area.
Thanks. I love you, friend!
and another note…
I do have another question along these same lines though. I really do feel that I am not accomplishing all the Lord would have me to, either due to time wasting, not knowing how to utilize my time best/ how to not be a time waster or identifying those time wasting areas, not knowing a doable-for-me system, or unable to sustain/maintain a system over time. I feel frustrated in many areas of my life…this is just one more right now.
I guess the questions are how do you find a system or whatever that actually works for YOU? And once you do, how do you keep it going and maintain it over the long haul, if that maintaining thing is an area of struggle for you?
I know exactly how this dear mom is feeling, because I have had those feelings too.
We Can’t Do It All
I think the thing we all need to remember is that we can’t and shouldn’t “do it all”. We just can’t. It’s not possible. But it is so easy to look at others and see what they are doing and compare ourselves to them. But we all have things we have chosen to do and things we have chosen not to do. But when we look at others we are looking at all they are doing and seeing that we aren’t doing some of those things in our lives. But we are not taking into consideration that the other person may not be doing some things that we are. Does that make sense?
We Must Give Ourselves Grace
I am talking to myself here too…we have to give ourselves grace. We must only look to God to allow Him to show us those things we need to do and those things that are ok to let go of. That will be different for each of us.
We Must Accept How the Lord Made Us
I know how this mom is feeling right now, feeling like a failure in areas of her life. Recently, though, the Lord has been helping me to relax in Him, to focus on the things that He is having me focus on, and let it be ok. It isn’t easy, because I have so many fears at times of feeling like a failure in areas of my life too. But as I learn to trust Him more and accept myself for who I am and how God made me, I am beginning to feel less guilty and more at peace with things.
We Must Look to the Lord and Not Look Around
Sally Clarkson had an excellent post recently that addresses this a little. Here post is specifically talking about homeschooling, but the principles are the same for all of our life. I encourage you to take some time to read it. It confirmed to me again where I need to be looking — and that is to the Lord!
Go to the Lord and don’t look around at what everyone else is doing. Allow Him to give you peace for those things that you need to focus on right now. He has promised and He will do this! Be faithful in those areas the Lord is having you focus on, and allow the Lord to fill in with His grace all those gaps you think you have.
I am working on a series of posts that will dig in deeper to some of these areas where we tend to feel like failures. Areas that we really do need to have some sort of “system” in place.
Please don’t think I have my act together all the time, because I don’t! I struggle in areas at times too. But I do want to encourage and just share some resources that I pray will help you to find the “system” that works for you so that the very basics of keeping your home will run smoothly most of the time. I want to look at four main areas: daily schedule, meal planning, laundry, and house cleaning.
Watch for those posts coming soon!